March 18, 2010

Girly drama

I'm always watching people and if you ever catch me eavesdropping I'm sorry. I don't mean to be terribly rude but I'm just sorta nosy. Lately I've been finding myself thinking thank goodness I'm not a young girl. Yesterday while I was on playground duty I found myself asking girls to use kindness with each other because I overheard the dreaded, "We don't want to play with you." and the inevitable stomp off. You all know the players, there's the Queen Bee/Mean Girl, The Minion/Girl in the Middle, The Outcast and the Nice One who sticks by Outcast. Remember these girls? I'm sure at one point in our lives we've all played each of these parts. Oh the drama, yuck. No thank you.

But then this morning I saw two girls on Spring Break out for a walk with huge smiles on their faces, a smile that meant freedom. I could almost taste it. The day when your parents let you walk on your own with your friends somewhere. It could be the the local convenience store for a Coke or the nearest grocery store to get a treat. Either way I loved that feeling, the fun chats on the way somewhere and of course the sugary treats that usually accompanied these walks on the way home.

The thing is being a girl was so fun and hard at the same time and I suppose it makes you who are you as a grownup. Hopefully the drama and the fun work it's magic turning us into kind, sympathetic, tolerant people who fight for the outcast. What do you think?

10 comments:

Vanessa said...

No one can hurl an insult like a young girl. I'm about to turn 30 in a couple of weeks, and while it's a little scary, I wouldn't go back to school age for anything. It was so fun and I have found myself on both sides, but you're right. All of that drama makes us who we are and 30 is looking a-ok.

ME (aka Mia) W. said...

This is a little haiku I wrote for my daughter's 9th birthday last week. I believe it perfectly describes her.

Contradictions fly
Sweet, mean, happy, surly, kind
Today she is nine

Luvs2dance said...

I so remember taking those walks down the street with a girlfriend! And your right, they always ended with a super yummy treat!

Girls can be caddy and superficial, thankfully for most women that goes away!

Beatriz said...

Great post!! Girls can definitely be mean... I would be the "Nice One" for sure. Or the "Mediator". But I think it does shape you into who you are. Today I'm a therapist. So now I play mediator for grownups! haha!

Beatriz.
thatgirlinpearls.com

sanctuaryhome said...

Sometimes, I think adult women do the "we don't want to play with you" thing, too. I have a friend who lives in a cul de sac of several families, it seems that the pack mentality takes over and one of the women (most of them around 40 years old) is the "outcast". Yuck!

Pittsy said...

Oh Sarah, I am deep in this with my girl. It started early and is rough. Girls are flat out mean. I really don't remember it being like this when I was young and certainly not when I was 6! We have a lot of the "if they aren't nice to you why would you WANT to play with them" conversations. We are trying to empower our girl to make choices. It's not an easy road. I am sometimes thankful I only have one girl to go through this with but then I worry about who my boys will end up with. Ruthless!
Good discussion.

{lovely little things} said...

I agree, as a teacher it's sad how early girls are being mean to each other. I have 2nd graders that are mean at recess for no reason. Despite all our conversations as teachers, it doesn't seem to make a huge impact. It's sad how times change.

Sarah's Fab Day said...

I will say that thankfully while I was out there (I was the parent on duty) and one of the teacher's aide was very diplomatic and kind handling this with first graders. She modeled what should have been said and then made the girl that said the hurtful thing come back and look the girl in the face that she hurt. It was a great lesson on both sides. Funny because when I was speaking with the girls it they were older and one was so mean I almost couldn't believe it. I don't have girls but hopefully my actions with my sons and with the girls in my life will have a positive impact.

Tina said...

I witnessed this with my daughter. Her being the 3rd wheel and the other 2 girls completely ignoring her while she called their name and followed them around. They were playing fine when it was 4 girls, until one left. My heart broke, but I just watched. I think it is important for them to kinda work it out themselves. After following them for 10 minutes I saw her stop, stand for awhile king of thinking, and run off to find new friends. I asked her later if this particular girl is always ignoring her. And she said "oh mom she was just busy". I don't know if that was an excuse, or maybe just trying to make herself feel better, or really that it really didn't bother my daughter. I hope the later and that she is gonna be a strong one. Girls can be nasty at any age.

simply seleta said...

Sadly, I see this a lot with my little 8 year old. There is some serious snoot around here and she usually ends up getting snubbed by her peers. It breaks my heart.

I was fortunate to always have a best friend by my side, but boy do I remember the cattiness girls could dish out...even now into adulthood. Wish it didn't have to be that way. As a result, many times me and my two little girls are hanging together. Sometimes it's better to steer clear of catwomen and their hisses.