May 6, 2010

My mind is ready to be numbed.

Do you ever feel just completely insecure? It's like a strange panic washes over your body and thoughts bombard your brain from every obscure angle. Am I a good enough mom? Pilates teacher and blogging...what the hell kind of job is that? Do I do enough for others? I wonder if everyone thinks I'm being a total B today? Arrgghhh! The thoughts never cease and they're so random. For me I usually have one or sometimes two days of panic a month where nothing goes right and all every single little thing I do all day takes so much effort.

Today is one of those days, however I'll look on the bright side knowing that tomorrow I'll wake up and think, "what the hell was I thinking yesterday?" because these spells do not last long. My cure for today will be drowning my sorrows in TV, nothing like a night of being a couch potato to numb the brain. Hopefully there's something good on. What are your cures for days like this?


mamacita said...

You need to buy yourself something shiny. Hell yes, you're good enough -- you're better than anybody deserves.

Haute Mama said...

I totally had one of those days. Got caught blogging at work (was certain that impending raise I'm hoping for is shot), and I felt like a terrible mother when hubs passed me the phone, just as one of the boys spilled my wine all over my un-eaten dinner plate and I let out a "god f-in dammit" (nice)just loud enough for my Mother in Law (who was on the line) to hear. My cure- more wine and mindless house cleaning. Strange combo, but the wine soothes the nerves and the house cleaning makes me feel that at least something in my life is in order.

here's to a brighter tomorrow :)

the sweet life with olives said...

ugh... i so know those days... those moments. been passing through one myself lately. as for your sister, yay! email me all the deets. not even joking, i actually could use help with kids for a couple of weeks!! :-) any chance you can smush yourself in her luggage?! erin

simply seleta said...

Sadly those days are not strangers to me either. Whew.

I find that deep breathing, being alone to regroup and meditating for even as little as 5 minutes helps. Oh, and prayer. The older I get, the more I'm learning not to care as much what certain people think...and that God is pure goodness and not a big list of rigid rules saying "you can't do this, you can't do that." Tapping into goodness and what is true is what it's all about, sista.


Paige said...

those days are the worst. self doubt is a B!!! i think can i honestly say without ever meeting you you are sensational. and don't let anyone else tell ya different! and i am envious of your job! a pilates teacher? i bet your ass is phenomenal!

(did that last part cheer you up?)

Michelle said...

Those days are rotten. That is when I take a hot bath, grab a book & go to bed early.

Here's to better days & telling the self doubt to suck it.